At the end of each Select Board meeting, there is time set aside for “new business.” Sometimes it’s a chance for board members to preview topics they would like placed on the agenda for an upcoming meeting. On other occasions, they have offered observations and comments about local goings-on or feedback from constituents.
But at last week’s meeting, the final one before the holidays, the new-business segment played out differently, taking a more personal tone.
Vice chair Kevin Canty used the time to reflect on a personally painful year and to urge Plymouth residents not to grieve alone during the holidays.
It was a poignant reminder that while holiday festivities are happening all around the region and the mood appears upbeat, not everyone feels like celebrating.
“This is my first holiday season that I won’t have my parents,” Canty, 39, said, speaking to a small audience, both in-person and online. “My parents died this year, and I’m not the only person in this community that’s going through something like that, [who] has lost someone close to them.”
Canty said he has sought grief therapy to help him deal with the death of his father and mother – Leonard Canty Jr. and Lorraine Canty.
He said people in similar situations can feel alone – like no one else is coping with the absence of a loved one during this season.
“There are other people in this community that are going through what you’re going through if you’re in that situation,” Canty said. “I hope if you are going through that, or have gone through that, you either are seeking help or that you will do so. I think that taking appropriate steps to address your mental health is something that not too long ago was a significant stigma in this society that we live in, and that’s not healthy to anyone.”
Canty urged people who are struggling to seek assistance. He said he has been lucky – able to rely on friends and others in town.
“I’m sure that even if you don’t realize it, there are people in this community that care about you as well,” he said. “We will all be in each other’s thoughts.”
In an interview, Canty told the Independent that he was moved to speak publicly because the holiday season is often portrayed as a time of joy and being with family.
“For people that are experiencing a loss or processing a loss, the holidays can have a different meaning and a different feeling,” Canty said. “It can be very isolating for folks that are processing that because they’re not seeing other people processing that in a public way.”
That why he decided to use his platform on the Select Board to address people dealing with loss. He also wanted to call attention to the importance of seeking comfort and compassion from others.
“There is support out there, either in their friend network or their family or grief therapy, to help them process the loss and get them through it so that they don’t feel so alone and isolated during the holidays,” Canty said.
The audience for Select Board meetings is small, but Canty’s message has nonetheless resonated.
He said some people experiencing the effects of loss have thanked him, while others applauded the sentiment behind speaking out about something so personal.
“I appreciated that it was valued by the people that heard it,” he said.
Fred Thys can be reached at fred@plymouthindependent.org.